Tearin' Up My Heart

John looked down, ashamed. "That's not what I meant..."

Phil sighed. "I know I'm just... tired. And I was so worried about you. John, ya gotta stop this. You can;t be going 24 hours without food or sleep. Do you know what would happen if I lost you? I'd die, John, without you." He whispered, looking down.

"I'll- I'll try to take more breaks. But when I get going, it's hard to stop myself. It just comes naturally now. It's force of habit, I guess you could say," John said, looking at him. "But for you, I'll try," he added.

Phil nodded. "Okay. That's all I ask of you baby." He breathed and kissed his lover softly.

John smiled and kissed Phil back, running a hand through his lover's hair. When they pulled away, he said, "I miss your long hair."

Phil chuckled softly. "I miss it too. Maybe I'll grow it out again..." he sighed.

"It will. If you let it," John said, running his hand through it again. And you should stop with the product. It's not soft anymore."

Phil pouted. "As you wish, your highness." He chuckled.

John smiled and kissed Phil's pout away. "I'm glad we worked all this out," he said softly.

"I'm glad we did. But... I still don't know if I'm coming back." Phil sighed.

John nodded. "I know. Whatever your decision, I'll support you, 100 percent."

Phil smiled softly. "Thank you. Because I don't think 'm coming back. At least not yet."

John's heart clenched a bit, but he nodded anyways. "It's alright. I understand. Take all the time you need. I support you," John told his lover softly.

Phil smiled. "You're the best." he chuckled. "Now, when can you get out of here?" He asked. "You still need to kick Vince's ass."

"I don't know. Soon, I hope. I don't really have a problem with hospitals. I'd just rather be out there then in here," John said, looking around the cold, disinfectant smelling room and shuddered a bit.

Phil looked around the hospital. "I'm petrified of hospitals. You know that." He sighed. "Can I just... steal you out of here?" He asked with an evil smirk.

John chuckled. "You could. Or I could just get my discharge papers and leave," he said.

Phil pursed his lips."I prefer the evil way." He said, nodding in confirmation of his response.

John rolled his eyes at his lover. "Go get my discharge papers, Phil," he said, getting up and walking over to a chair, pulling off the hospital gown and pulling on his clothes.

Phil groaned. "Fine fine." He grumbled and went to go get the papers. When he finished, he went back to John. "Let's get outta here, tiger." He chuckled, taking his lover's hand.

John smiled and walked out of the hospital with Phil, thankful to no longer be in there. He always hated the way it smelled, of antiseptic and death. He got in the car and relaxed against the seat, content with letting Phil drive for the day.

When they got to the hotel, Phil sighed as he sat on the bed. "I don't know if I should come back or not." He murmured, running a hand through his short hair, missing the long length.

John sat next to him, wrapping his arms around him. "Do you want to?"

"I don't know. I wanna be with you and I love the fans but.. I just get that feeling that... I'm being under appreciated. I dunno. Maybe i'm just being stupid..." Phil murmured quietly, leaning into John.

"You're far from under appreciated. You're getting more airtime than a lot of people get. And that's precious, even for me and Randy and Hunter," John said. And he meant it. They all fought for their spot in the shows.